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Written by Niloufar Abedi, Author of Highway to Success and Better living in USA
Written by Niloufar Abedi,
Author of Highway to Success and Better living in USA
What type of characteristics describe you best?
Introvert, Extrovert, Serious, whimsical, Considerate or Self-
centered?
The individual characteristics that identify your unique personality
consists of instinctive responsiveness and spontaneous self-
assertiveness. This characteristics are mixed in with and modified by
the ways you have learned to act and react. From your early
childhood, you have observed the actions and attitudes of your role-
models (parents, siblings, family, teachers) toward different
situations in your environment and cultivated your own unique
personality according to your assessment and interpretation of their
behaviors in relation to your own needs and drives.
These interactions have eventually formed into definite behavior that
defines your personal characteristics. These characteristics explain
your interaction with your society (the outer-world observer), your
attitude toward yourself and your dreams (the inner-world caretaker),
and the way you balance the demands and needs of these two (The
negotiator).
A balance between these three parts of your character (the outer-
world observer, the inner-world caretaker, and the negotiator) creates
an unbeatable inner team that will give you a competent personality.
This competency includes self-understanding, self-respect and self-
efficiency. With this type of character, you will have the ability and
the drive to be creative and positive in your life, to endure and
survive any hardship, and to demand success on your own terms.
Here is a short review for these three categories.
The outer-world observer in you is responsible for making you an
active and accepted participant in your society. As you grow up, most
of your training is usually geared toward learning how to fit in your
society. You learn to understand and evaluate the needs and demands
of your culture. You also learn to provide or satisfy those needs and
demands. If you don't, the society you live in will simply discard
you. Therefore, you start and continue your adult life with major
concentration on your acceptance, recognition and relationship with
others. Your social success is usually set by your achievements and
accomplishments in your society. Hence, the observer usually takes
most of your attention.
The inner-world caretaker's job is to help you understand what your
personal dreams are and encourage you to turn them into achievable
goals. You have to pay particular attention to the inner-world
caretaker because the outer-world observer has a way of demanding
your attention and forcing the inner-world caretaker to take the
second priority. Therefore, the caretaker is constantly struggling to
keep your dreams alive and hopefully bringing them to your
attention.
The negotiator is responsible for creating a sense of order and
balance between the outer-world observer and the inner-world
caretaker. If the priorities and destination of both the observer and the
caretaker are the same, then the negotiator will prioritize the needed
actions that must be taken as you face different challenges in your
life. If the observer and the caretaker do not have a harmonious
destination, then the negotiator has to constantly justify the demand
of the observer to the caretaker and the needs of the caretaker to the
observer. At the same time, the negotiator must decide on the
priorities of what must be done and negotiate the time and effort
either the observer or the caretaker must have.
You must take the responsibility of creating a situation that will give
you the chance to meet with the demands of your society as you
fulfill your own dreams. Then you will have a single destination to
focus on. The signal for this situation is the jubilant and exhilaration
you feel in your daily life. If you are not receiving this signal, your
outer-world observer and your inner-world caretaker do not have a
harmonious destination. Therefore, you have a feeling of agitation
and fatigue. These feeling will take considerable amount of your
time and energy which you have to compensate for by reducing the
attention and consideration you would have given to your inner-world
caretaker. Then you will naturally put your dreams on hold for a later
date.
As you grow older, you become more established in your society and
develop a lifestyle that absorbs your total attention. However, this is
also the time when you become aware of your mortality and deeply
sense the meaning of passing time. You finally have the urge to pay
attention to your inner-world caretaker and fulfill all of those dreams
and needs that so far you have had to put on hold. You start realizing
that the "later date" is now. You either start paying attention to your
inner-world caretaker and give in to the urge of fulfilling your
dreams. An action that is usually known as "midlife crisis", and very
often will put the outer-world observer in a secondary position. A
place that your society will have difficulty to accept. Else, you will
once again suppress the voice of your inner-world caretaker. An
action that will develop various self-righteous characteristics in you
in response to your inner-world dissatisfaction.
As an adult you have the ability of analyzing and reforming any of
your characteristics that is preventing you from reaching your goals.
To start this reformation you have to take several steps. First: clearly
understand what your goals are. Second: study and analyze the
actions you take and the reactions you have toward other people and
different circumstances. This understanding will help you discover
your strengths and your weaknesses and allow you to plan your
actions in a way that you can capitalize on your strengths and avoid
your weaknesses. At the same time, your awareness of your
weaknesses will give you the opportunity to work toward eliminating
them. Third: evaluate your personality and eliminate any behavior
that could turn you into a procrastinator.
I have explained these three steps in this and two previous articles
titled: (the role of LUCK in your success, and Is your personality
helping or hindering your success). There are several other basic
principals that I will hopefully cover in the future articles. However,
the most important fact to remember is this. The road of success is
always under construction. If you understand and follow the basic
principals of success, you can avoid the major hurdles and pitfalls of
this road. You will also have the ability to build the road on your own
terms as you move forward.
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values
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Learn how to be on Highway to Success. for FREE INFORMATION
Visit our site...http://www.abedi.com
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