Is your personality helping or hindering your success?

Is your personality helping or hindering your success? Written by Niloufar Abedi,
Author of Highway to Success and Better living in USA

Do you ever recall saying to yourself, today I choose to fail? Probably not. I don't think any of us ever made a conscious or deliberate decision to fail. But many of us have used different justification for giving up on our goals and dreams in life. Can you recall the times you spent the day running trivial errands instead of working toward a goal you cared about, or the times you focused on your weaknesses instead of your strengths? Those are all manifestations of a decision to fail, and your personality may have a lot to do with this decision.

It might come as a complete surprise to you, but, we are all born with one type of personality. Proactive. This is a positive personality that helps us to achieve success and accomplish goals. Unfortunately, many of us lose this personality as we grow up due to personal, and/or social experiences, and expectations. We develop other personalities such asa victim, endurer, dreamer, or a sacrificial lamb. These personalities consist of negative habits that creates fear in us. That fear is the actual cause of our procrastination and our lack of action towards the achievement of goals and dreams. To understand procrastination lets start by looking at the negative personalities first.

Victim Personality

The victim personality develops a symptom called loser limp))a ready-made built-in excuse for whatever misfortune comes her way. This personality has perfected the art of could have, should have, and if only. A victim personality wastes the present and the future on a preoccupation with the past and with matters that are out of her control.

If you have a victim personality, you fear taking charge of your own destiny because you know that something, somehow, will stop you from reaching your goals. Therefore, you will delay the start of anything new until another person takes the lead. Then you can support her without having to assume any authority, accept any responsibility or deal with fear of failure. This avoidance of authority transforms you into a procrastinator.

Endurer Personality

The endurer personality keeps everything as it is even if the situation is difficult to tolerate. The endurer major goal is to make it through the week and enjoy the weekend. This personality is driven by a desire to live safely in the present and very seldom plans for the future or learns from the past. The endurer does not think about goals or dreams because they may not be reached. The philosophy of this personality is why take any risk?

If you have an endurer personality, you are a firm believer that you will fail regardless of your best attempts to succeed. This belief can easily lead to a decision, often an unconscious one, to postpone action. Not forever, but just for a little while. That, of course, is another way to describe procrastination. The true basis for this fear is that the longer you avoid trying, the longer you can hold the fear of failure away. You might consider this action a protective strategy, but in reality you have turned into a procrastinator.

Dreamer Personality

The dreamer personality lives in a never-never land of make-believe, pipe dreams, and someday. This personality will think of exiting concepts late at night but never does anything about those concepts in the light of the day. Dreamers have permanent potential but never quite get around to turning those potentials to goals, plans, and actual activities. Their favorite phrases start with, Someday I will . . .

If you have a dreamer personality, you have probably allowed other people to set the standards for your success. Usually your reason for adopting others standards was to gain a sense of security. Security is a good thing. However, when it becomes the dominant focus of your life, you have lost your perspective. Then you become petrified about taking any new risks and you become your worst enemy. Procrastination is the best method you can use to stay in your familiar but unproductive lifestyle.

Sacrificial Lamb Personality

A sacrificial lamb personality lives with the bitter taste of betrayal. They are filled with bitterness, self-pity and a sense of failure. They have a self-perceived feeling of weakness and inadequacy that they fear the public will learn about. This fear of embarrassment creates procrastination, and it is the reason they tolerate the present circumstances regardless of its misery.

If you have a sacrificial lamb personality, there is a good chance that you have been in a situation that you have put aside your own wants and needs to furnish love and support to a loved one to succeed. The result of your sacrifice has cost you your own self-respect. Now, you are avoiding making a new life for yourself fearing that you are too old to succeed. This fear is the major reason for your procrastination.

Procrastination is never a good or helpful trait because it is based in fear. Procrastinators know what they want out of life, but they refuse to take the risk of bringing their dreams to reality. The philosophy of a procrastinator is to do only what must be done today and leave the rest for tomorrow. They leave what must be done today to the very last minute, and then do the best they can. This behavior creates a situation of constant anxiety and fatigue.

If you are a procrastinator, the good news is that you simply have a bad habit. The better news is that you have the ability to break out of it. And the best way of breaking this habit is to take a step toward achieving one of your goals. Take the word someday out of your vocabulary and in its place put specific time frame for what you want to do. If you have a long list of things you must accomplish, take a good look at your list and see which ones will help you toward your goals. Give those tasks priority. Then take one task and do it. It doesn't matter how small or large that task is. Start it and focus on it until you complete it. Then, as soon as possible, start work on the next task.

This will help you to turn back to the proactive person you once were. As proactive person, you will achieve your goals, and you will become an effective force in your society. Your attitude toward any action will be better to do it today than tomorrow. You will be authoritative, and you will initiate the events you want to see happen. You will personally take responsibility for fulfilling your own goals, and you will become intensely focused on success. You won't give up your dreams due to FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real), nor will you underestimate the effect of LUCK (Labor Under correct Knowledge) in your life. You will be the successful personality you were born to be.

You have the most precious gift of all. That gift is the time you have. Use it to live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values
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